Money isn't everything, but it helps out sometimes

What a year. This has been the most stressful year ever. My mother has gone mad, literally. I had to have her legally comitted to a mental hospital. Not a great place but with me about to have a baby and with 2 other kids, I didn't have a choice. I am in my ninth month of pregnancy. We were surprised earlier this year to find out we are pregnant.  We weren't having anymore kids but I guess another one was in the cards for us. The economy isn't helping us and our mortgage has just gone up about $300 a month. I haven't been able to work because of the pregnany and my mom, so we are behind to put it lightly. The pregnancy is not covered by our self pay insurance. I am grateful to have insurance but because of our deductible, we don't go when we should.  Today I went to the Dr. for by bi-weekly non-stress test. It is to check the heart rate of the baby. My OB-GYN had open heart surgery on Monday. I still haven't paid the hospital bill. My blood pressure is up, so I had to get blood work, which I didn't pay for either. It makes me dizzy. I tried to tell the new doctor that my pressure was probably due to stress but he wants to make sure I am not heading toward toxemia. I finally ate my pride and asked my step-MIL to borrow the money for the hospital. She said I would have to ask my FIL.  He is sort of mean and I don't want him to make me cry, so I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was already emotional from having to ask for the money in the first place. He will most likely say no, anyway. My dad could help me but he won't. It drives me nuts because I never ask him for anything. He acts like I was this terrible child and I wasn't. I was so good. I really wanted him to be proud and I really tried not to embarrass him. He was embarrassed of me anyway. I have always been just a little overweight (10 - 20 pounds) and it drives him nuts. He makes up stories to tell people about how bad we were as kids. Now that I am pregnant and big, he is humiliated. What really suck is, so am I. He acts like he has always had to bail us out. It's not true. I paid for college myself. I have always worked and worked hard. I never asked for anything.  Right now, he is on a hunting trip in N. Dakota. I hope he bags a big one. If I wasn't pregnant, I would get a job in a second and work doubles until we were out of this mess. I have been so stressed out and it is showing with my kids. I need to pull out of this but it seems like we have been just scraping along for so long now. I feel like I am ready to give up. Of course, I can't. I have great kids and one coming. I am so lucky, my husband loves me and works so hard, but I feel so helpless right now.

If someone is willing to lend me some cash, please respond. I can pay you back when we sell some property we have. We just reduced the price dramatically so maybe it will happen soon.

I didn't want to bring this baby into the world while I am so stressed out. I hate it for my other kids. I know it doesn't help them to see me like this. I hate being like this. I have always been very positive but this year has been a test.

Gratefully yours, Cristy